Monday, February 4, 2013

Bridal Title 2: 'Wedding Planning Like A Pro: Confession of an Ex-Wedding Planner' by Tammy J. Beatty

This title takes the cake as one of the worst I've ever had the displeasure of coming across. Filled with poorly written, snooty and pushy 'advice', bad jokes and terrible tips, 'Wedding Planning Like a Pro: Confessions of an Ex-Wedding Planner' is the new heavyweight champion of the D.N.R. collection.

To save you from an egregious waste of time, here are just a few of Tammy Beatty's words of wisdom along with my comments.
  •  Her advice: Have an iPod wedding! It's cheaper to rent a $1,000 set of speakers from Rent-a-Center and buy an iPod than to hire a DJ. You'll also have 100% control!
My advice? Cough up the cash and hire a DJ. Not only is it going to cost just about as much as renting those lousy speakers from a Rent-a-Center it will save you time and countless hours of frustration both before and during your wedding. DJ's are more than just glorified MP3 players. They help to coordinate important moments like your first dance, your best man's speech, cake cutting, and the wedding party entrance. Not only that but you're running the risk of the music getting commandeered and something really really REALLY embarrassing being played. Fork out the extra couple hundred dollars (if even) and get a reputable DJ for the evening.
  • Her advice: To save up money for your wedding, give up your daily Starbucks! You'll save about $1,000 over the course of a year!
Oh wow - $1,000! Golly, that's worth an entire year of self-punishment. Than there was her other stellar piece of money saving sage-ism: Move in together because you'll need to figure it out eventually. News flash for you Ms. Beatty - if the couple is getting married and they haven't moved in together there's probably a good reason for it. Might be religious or moral but seeing 'advice' like this in a book is borderline patronizing.
  • Her advice: Check out the following websites because they're packed with totally awesome ideas and advice: The Knot and Wedding Wire!
Did you seriously recommend that I go to two websites that any moron with an internet connection and a Google search bar can find by face rolling the keyboard? To add insult to injury she doesn't list any website during the entire book that someone couldn't, wouldn't or hasn't found on their own through any level of preliminary investigation.
  • Her advice: Buy your own flowers and look at this online guide. Isn't making your own floral arrangements fun and easy?
Are you insane Tammy? You've got to be because this isn't something everyone can do. I wouldn't even say 10% of brides could pull this off especially if all they've got to go on is this meager level of explanation. Floral arrangements are hard. Heck - I have a hard enough time jamming flowers from my fiance into a vase and having them look even remotely pretty... and that's after a florist had taken the time to arrange them into a bouquet. Never mind trying to become an overnight florist and make my own bridal bouquet. Maybe it's me, but this one stinks too.
  • Her advice: You'll want pictures of your vows, so only hire a professional photographer for the ceremony. For the reception you'll be more interested in getting pictures of your drunk guests from none other than your drunk guest so who needs a professional! Partition them on Facebook afterwards and have them send you there favorites!
So while I plan on reaching out to friends and family after the event for their favorite photos they might have snapped on their phones or personal point-and-shoots there is no way in hell I'm going to depend on a room full of people that are half (or wholly) in the bag by the end of the festivities to capture all of my most important memories of the event. Terrible assertion here and Tammy should be ashamed of herself for suggestion this as an option.

The Bottom Line: If you're planning a small, backyard affair some of these tips might be worth pursuing but with the book feeling more like an aggregate for some of the internet's worst pieces of wedding advice its no wonder that the author Tammy Beatty is, in fact, an ex-wedding planner.


  1. LOL! The last line just shot the cork off the champagne bottle. :P Are you getting married soon?

  2. Not soon but soon-ish. My fiance and I are planning on sometime in March 2014... so a little over a year. Even still, I thought I'd get the drop on this whole wedding planning thing by reading up. To be honest, a few more titles like this one and I might just write my own guide. :-D