'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' by Jeff Kinney (Book 1)

Official Summary:
Boys don't keep diaries—or do they?

The launch of an exciting and innovatively illustrated new series narrated by an unforgettable kid every family can relate to.

It's a new school year, and Greg Heffley finds himself thrust into middle school, where undersized weaklings share the hallways with kids who are taller, meaner, and already shaving. The hazards of growing up before you're ready are uniquely revealed through words and drawings as Greg records them in his diary.

In book one of this debut series, Greg is happy to have Rowley, his sidekick, along for the ride. But when Rowley's star starts to rise, Greg tries to use his best friend's newfound popularity to his own advantage, kicking off a chain of events that will test their friendship in hilarious fashion.

Review:
Let me start out by saying that I never actually intended on reading 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid.' It just kind of happened. You don't believe me, do you? That's okay - you try ignoring the same title in the Kindle Unlimited top whatever for months and we'll have a little snoop in on your reading list. If the allure of all the nearly free titles aren't clogging up your to-be-read pile with questionable content in just a couple of days I'd argue that your using the service wrong. Yup. I went there. No. I'm not sorry.

Well, maybe a little bit sorry. But only a little. And only because now you have to suffer through a review of what is arguably one of the worst titles I've ever read. How is this crap so popular? Not only does it inhabit some strange space between a comic strip and a Roald Dahl novel - and I've gotta say that even having this garbage even spark the memory of fantastic children's writer Dahl makes me a bit sick to my stomach. That guy is a genius. This guy knows, has or was a bratty kid -  but there isn't anything redeeming about the content or the main character. The so-called "wimpy kid" is a freaking jerk that is constantly blaming others for his mistakes, admittedly using his friends to avert punishment, shows barely a modicum of respect for the authority figures in his life, and steals from his brother (whose also a jerk, by the way).

The only reason I can think of that this hunk of literary garbage is so widely read is that this kid, this bratty, selfish, dumb kid is an accurate reflection of the state of childhood right now. And that makes me sad.

Bottom Line: I don't care if Kinney comes out with a hundred more of these titles and they make another fifty movies from them, my advice will still be the same: Steer clear. This shouldn't be as popular as it is, and it certainly shouldn't be in the top 100. Ultimately, if this is the direction of our culture, then I'm disappointed. With so many enriching titles out there for children, the popularity of this one is mind-blowing and makes me more then just a little concerned for the reading lists of this country's youth.

'Gods of Men' (Children of the Apocalypse) by Joseph Pignataro

Before I make an ass out of myself with this review I feel like I should admit two things:

1. This is the first graphic novel I've ever picked up. Yes. For reals.
2. I'm not even capable of drawing a convincing stick figure so please take any 'style' critiques with a heaping cup of salt.

Phew - okay... glad we got that out of the way so now I can continue without feeling too much guilt.

So what did I think of 'Gods of Men' by Joseph Pignataro? Well that's easy; it was terrible. But while I'm at it let's take a second and break that down.

• Art style: Looked like it was done by someone suffering from the shakes and drawing with their off hand.
• Story line: What story line? Seriously - this thing had about one thing happen over the entirety of the first installment which to me seemed a bit odd if only because the blurb and accompanying reviews made it seem like something actually, oh... I dunno... HAPPENED!
• Length: If I'd paid for this I'd have been pissed. Really and truly livid. By the time I'd settled in to a comfortable reading position it was over. Than again, maybe this was a blessing in disguise. If it'd been longer I might have felt like this was a tremendous waste of time and not just a slight annoyance.

Bottom Line: If you or someone you love is about to spend money on this waste of ink please, for the love of literature, knock it out of their hands. And like always if you find that you disagree with me, please please please tell me why in the comments below because as things stand at the moment I'm wondering how on earth this series got such rave reviews everywhere else.

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Batman - The Dark Knight Rises

I know this is a book review site but I love a good comic book movie almost as much as I love books and I couldn't resist reviewing this one.

This particulate incarnation, with a focus on Batman's coming to terms with himself, has to be the best entry of the saga to date. Both "Batman Begins" and the "The Dark Knight" have featured a stellar modernization of the classic villains like Scarecrow, Joker, and Harvey Dent so I had been looking forward to this latest adventure for months. I was not disappointed: This one needs to go directly onto you "must see" of the summer list.

Christian Bale has a knack for playing the batty hero of Gotham. Even with the mildly annoying 'tracheotomy voice of disguise' (which I'll be honest, threw me a little in the first movie), presented his fantastically dark and conflicted version of Bruce Wayne without a hitch. The story this time is Wayne's beloved Gotham City is under threat of a nuclear bomb (surprise!) being wielded by the wickedly twisted Bane. His reasons for holding New York Gotham hostage are deeper than what you might be used to for an action film and may just have you thinking on you're way out of the theater.

With all the highs in this movie I don't want to linger too long on any lows, but I found myself wishing that the relationship Bruce has with Miranda (played by Marion Cotillard) was explored deeper than the 10 minutes of screen time it was allotted. By the end some of the motivations seemed altogether too weak and frankly, unjustified. If I'm totally honest though, I didn't really care and I'm kind of glad that time was taken with the more colorful co-stars where there was obviously a tremendous amount of acting chemistry. Beside - would you rather see Batman getting it on with someone who feels like a non-sequitor more than a coherent part of the story or would you rather see more Alfred? 

Lastly, the on-screen chemistry between Bale and Anne Hathaway (The Cat (burglar) Woman) and a last minute Robin reveal truly have me wishing this wasn't the final chapter of this Batman before the inevitable reboot in a few years. I'm happy for the masked man when the story closes but selfishly want him to put on his suit just one more time.