'The Paper Magician' by Charlie N. Holmberg

Official Summary:
Ceony Twill arrives at the cottage of Magician Emery Thane with a broken heart. Having graduated at the top of her class from the Tagis Praff School for the Magically Inclined, Ceony is assigned an apprenticeship in paper magic despite her dreams of bespelling metal. And once she’s bonded to paper, that will be her only magic…forever.

Yet the spells Ceony learns under the strange yet kind Thane turn out to be more marvelous than she could have ever imagined—animating paper creatures, bringing stories to life via ghostly images, even reading fortunes. But as she discovers these wonders, Ceony also learns of the extraordinary dangers of forbidden magic.

An Excisioner—a practitioner of dark, flesh magic—invades the cottage and rips Thane’s heart from his chest. To save her teacher’s life, Ceony must face the evil magician and embark on an unbelievable adventure that will take her into the chambers of Thane’s still-beating heart—and reveal the very soul of the man.

From the imaginative mind of debut author Charlie N. Holmberg, The Paper Magician is an extraordinary adventure both dark and whimsical that will delight readers of all ages.

Review:

'The Paper Magician' surprised me. It was one of those books that thanks to the magic of Amazon suggestions became an unavoidable mainstay in the store, in the online suggestions carousel and on the dreaded Kindle advertisement screensaver that I'm both too cheap to get rid of and loathe to dismiss due to its (unfortunate) benefit. Amazon really wanted me to read this title but it was $11 - not much when your know what your buying but on a brand new author's brand new series, well, now we're starting some strange internal conflict*. But eventually I broke. Amazon worked its magic and after nearly two months of having it constantly shoved in my face I lost my resolve around midnight someday near Christmas.

Given the story above I'd have every right to be a little peeved with Amazon for winning yet another round of "will she read it?" but I should know better by now. The all-knowing Amazon suggestions algorithm was right, again, and so I'm here to tell you that this book was, actually "...an extraordinary adventure both dark and whimsical that will delight readers..."

Bottom Line: Not only did I shell out the $11 for the privileged of reading 'The Paper Magician' but I was so in love with it that I immediately picked up 'The Glass Magician' and have 'The Master Magician' in my cross-hairs for swift purchase when it gets released into the wild on June 2nd of this year. If you like reading anything with even a little bit of whimsy you'll love these books.

*Usually along the lines of, "$11!, I don't need to spend that much on a book... an electronic copy of the book at that. That's insane!" followed by, "Yeah, yeah, yeah - I get it. But the whole point of reading this stuff is to enjoy it. Not torture yourself with crap just because it's cheap." Round and round we go on that for a while until I usually tire myself out and pick the least expensive book on the wish list, or one of the host of books collecting dust on my home screen, a.k.a. the TBR pile. 

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'My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag... and Other Things You Can't Ask Martha' by Jolie Kerr

Official Summary:
The author of the hit column “Ask a Clean Person” offers a hilarious and practical guide to cleaning up life’s little emergencies

Life is filled with spills, odors, and those oh-so embarrassing stains you just can’t tell your parents about. And let’s be honest: no one is going to ask Martha Stewart what to do when your boyfriend barfs in your handbag.

Thankfully, Jolie Kerr has both staggering cleaning knowledge and a sense of humor. With signature sass and straight talk, Jolie takes on questions ranging from the basic—how do I use a mop? —to the esoteric—what should I do when bottles of homebrewed ginger beer explode in my kitchen? My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag proves that even the most nightmarish cleaning conundrums can be solved with a smile, the right supplies, and a little music. 

Review:

Can a how-to about cleaning be chock full of useful tips and funny? The short answer is a resounding yes! The longer one is that Jolie Kerr manages to deliver a no-nonsense but chuckle inducing step-by-step home cleaning guide for the masses with 'My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag...' - a title that by itself is attention grabbing and fun.

It's not often that how-to's are reviewed on T.T.P., and this is the first none-wedding planning title to make the cut, but it needed to be shared. Kerr's slightly self deprecating, tell it like it is style makes you feel as though your getting advice from a good friend and not reading it because your a disaster of a thirty-something whose never heard of laundry bluing and the amazing thing it does for your whites.

Bottom Line: If you've ever found yourself at a lose when faced with a mess, a yellowed shirt or just need affirmation that your using the right stuff on your floors, this slightly off-kilter guide should be in your arsenal. Doesn't matter if you consider yourself a clean freak or a slob, this one gets a T.T.P. guarantee. You'll like it, and you might even pick up a few new tricks for keeping the kipple* at bay.

*For those that need a definition, well, it is my humble opinion that you should read 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?' Really. Add it to your list now. Thank me in the comments later. In the meantime, the definition as provided by Urban Dictionary:

Kipple is a word coined by the remarkable science fiction writer Philip K. Dick. It refers to the sinister type of rubbish which simply builds up without any human intervention. Eventually, one day, the entire world will have moved to a state of kipplization.

'Trail of the Chupacabra' by Stephen Randel

Official Summary:

Avery Bartholomew Pendleton is back, and he’s just as crazy as ever. Avery is a paranoid loner obsessed with global conspiracy theories who spends most of his time crafting absurd and threatening letters to anyone who offends him. That means pretty much everyone.

Still convinced of the existence of the mythical Mexican chupacabra*, Avery enlists the assistance of the Southwest Texas Revolutionary Armed Confederate Border Operations Militia (STRAC-BOM) and their manic leader, General X-Ray, to help him invade Mexico. Accompanied by Ziggy, a burned-out hippy, and an uncommonly large iguana named Nancy, the group follows the advice of a New Orleans voodoo priestess and heads straight into the Mexican desert.

Unfortunately for the motley gang of explorers, Mexico can be a dangerous place if you cross the wrong people -- specifically, the Padre, a vicious drug cartel boss, and El Barquero, a murderous gunrunner who has crossed Avery’s path before.

What unfolds is a laugh-out-loud dark comedy of insane humor, unforgettable characters, and chilling thrills.

*No chupacabras were injured in the writing of this book.

Review:

‘Trail of the Chupacabra’ by Stephen Randel is a fabulous revisit to the world of ‘The Chupacabra’, released last year. While Kip and his father Bennett’s story take a backseat during this installment, we get to see a whole lot more Avery – a self-proclaimed technical god, possible genius and letter writer extraordinaire – his best friend, Ziggy – Avery’s complete opposite and a guy who totally reminds me of someone I know – and STRAC-BOM… and who doesn’t love that motley band of gun totting, 'Merica loving guys? 

As this strange group of monster hunters (of chupacabra and otherwise) are running back and forth over the United States and Mexican border they somehow manage to stumble into, and magically survive through, stings, crossfire, explosions and chance meetings with cartel goons at just about every corner, all while maintaining an endearing innocence (or inflated sense of self importance in Avery’s case), that is sure to keep your eyes glued to the page. 

Like its predecessor, ‘Trail of the Chupacabra’ is filled with punchy one-liners, “so-bad-they’re-great” jokes, and a richly diverse cast of mostly demented, but incredibly deep characters. While this title doesn’t have one ounce of fantasy (a genre that this particular reviewer usually thrives on) the fantastical world that Randel paints through the main character Avery gives any book about vampires or faeries a run for its money.

Bottom Line: If you love books like ‘Domestic Violets’ or the Discworld books by Terry Pratchett, I honestly think this one, (or ‘TheChupacabra’ if you haven’t read it yet) is right up your alley. In fact, this one gets the T.T.P. satisfaction guaranteed. Yes, it’s just that good. I promise.

'Scarlet' by Marissa Meyer

Official Summary:

Cinder, the cyborg mechanic, returns in the second thrilling installment of the bestselling Lunar Chronicles. She's trying to break out of prison--even though if she succeeds, she'll be the Commonwealth's most wanted fugitive. Halfway around the world, Scarlet Benoit's grandmother is missing. It turns out there are many things Scarlet doesn't know about her grandmother or the grave danger she has lived in her whole life. When Scarlet encounters Wolf, a street fighter who may have information as to her grandmother's whereabouts, she is loath to trust this stranger, but is inexplicably drawn to him, and he to her. As Scarlet and Wolf unravel one mystery, they encounter another when they meet Cinder. Now, all of them must stay one step ahead of the vicious Lunar Queen Levana, who will do anything for the handsome Prince Kai to become her husband, her king, her prisoner.  

Review:

Oh boy - I love this! Oh boy, oh boy, oh - I really, truly, absolutely, love writing reviews like this! It's reviews, well more importantly the titles that inspire these reviews, that keep me reading and keeping this blog in the first place. But I should stop gushing like a little girl and get on with it.

When the first book in the series, 'Cinder', hit shelves, it caught my attention with its simple, gleaming red high heel cover, it got added to my TBR pile and spent about six months staring up at me. Eventually, I got around to it and I couldn't put it down. I stayed up and polished it off in about five hours... on a work night. I fell in love with Cinder and the strangely dystopian world in which she was forced to exist.

So you can imagine how excited I was to find out that 'Scarlet' by Marissa Meyer was already in the works. I was giddy even - and I don't get giddy all that often... seriously, that just doesn't happen too often. But even the giddy wore off and turned into self-doubt.

Was book one really as good as I thought it was? Was I drunk on a late night reading high? Would book two keep the same pacing? Would it have the same charm?

And what do I do when I start to doubt a title? Or, even more pointedly, don't want a "book two" to ruin the awesomeness that is it's "book one"?

Well - I stall. I stall even though I'd pre-ordered this title on the day I finished 'Cinder' and the title appeared on my Kindle just a day short of two months ago. But I didn't have the nerve to crack it open until only a week ago. What a big mistake that was. Honestly, I spent months worrying about absolutely nothing while I should have just been a big ball of excited energy. No, if you must know, I didn't have the stamina to finish it in an all night reading bender, I did get through it in two (much shorter) sittings.

Bottom Line: Fairy tales, romance, dystopia, androids, robots, spaceships and aliens (well kinda aliens)... Do you like any of these things? How about just a hankering for one of the best fairy tale refreshes in existence? This one is a must.

I mean it.

Click here to pick up 'Scarlet' (Lunar Chronicles #2) and add it to your TBR pile immediately!

'Child 44' Leo Demidov #1 by Tom Rob Smith

I'm going to tell it to you straight: This book is uncomfortable to read.

Well written? Yup.
Absorbing? Absolutely.
But no holds barred, 100% depressing.

You see, once the story gets started, we meet the main character, Leo Demidov. Leo is a terrifyingly efficient war hero in Stalin's Soviet Russia that's banked his life and the life of his family on keeping his head down and his eyes closed to the atrocities that surround, and have greatly influenced, his everyday life. But when confronted with the real cost of this lifestyle, and circumstances start turning against him, Leo is finally pushed to action.

While all that might seem like it would add up to an inspirational read, the book sticks so close to reality that there isn't any room for much more than small, meaningful gestures between individuals. In fact, it's the courageous things that people do for one another - regardless of income, neighborhood or family ties... essentially the base humanity of it all - that makes this novel's message potently clear.

The Bottom Line: Part mystery novel, part historical fiction and part cautionary tale, 'Child 44' by Tom Rob Smith is worth everyone's time. In fact, part of me believes books like this should be required reading for all humanities students as tales like this one serve as stark reminders of what can happen if we forget ourselves.

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'Flat-Out Love' by Jessica Park

With it's over sized, rainbow colored bubble letters on plain white background, the cover of Jessica Park's 'Flat-Out Love' gives very little insight to the depth within*. On it's surface, the story Park tells is a romance, but even after having predicted the plot roughly 20% through, it still held my attention and kept me awake until 2am, on a work night no less. Once it was in my hands, I just couldn't put it down.

Predictable as it might be, this isn't a girl meets boy pulp composed of unnecessarily intimate scenes and sloppy encounters, a la' '50 Shades' - no this is a book that tells the story of two people who develop honest and earnest feelings for one another as the greater story of a broken family in the hard, seemingly impossible process of healing unfolds.

Bottom Line: If you're looking for a romance that holds something real, grounded, witty and thoughtful at its core, this one is for you.

*As a side note, the cover will make total and complete sense once you're near the end - for me, this is just another example of the kind of thought and depth that Park loaded into the novel itself.

'Days of Blood & Starlight' (Daughter of Smoke and Bone #2) by Laini Taylor

I'm not sure why, but it seems as though the Goodreads reviews of this book are uncharacteristically packed with animated GIFs and internet MEME references. And while a few of them are well done most are... well... nauseating and borderline offensive. See for yourself. Oh, go ahead, I don't mind - I'll be right here waiting.

See what I mean? Too much BLINK BLINK BLINK and not nearly enough substance. I'm sure that there are some great insights to be had in that epileptic stroke waiting to happen, but when you start to feel nauseous just scrolling through the page I'm not sure how much of them you'll see, never mind retain long enough to make any sense of it all.

But we aren't here to review the reviews and on that note the follow-up to 'Daughter of Smoke & Bone' left me jaw-gnashingly expectant of the final book in the trilogy and a thousand times more depressed than I'd every imagined. Launching into 'Days of Blood & Starlight' we find Karou living a life that fits her about as well as a potato sack mumu. It's an existence entirely devoid of happiness - her friends, family, life, love... all of this has has been pushed away aside and replaced with a single, brutal focus: war.

Overall, I'm still in love with all of the characters and getting to see a lot more of the chimaera and Karou's best friend Zuzana is a huge plus. While I did find myself missing the romance that was so heavily played out in book one, this second installment by Laini Taylor still finds plenty of ways to pull at your heartstrings. By finding a perfect balance between the apex of a brutal, soul-shredding war and heartwarming and emotional scenes that will, in all likelihood, carry us to an epic book three due out sometime in April 2014, this book is absolutely worth your time.

Not to Miss List: Autumn, 2012

Like the live-stream corgi puppies on the Pet Collective's YouTube channel, there are some thing you shouldn't miss this fall. For a taste of what I'll be doing as the weather cools off take a look at the list below:

• Early September, Doctor Who Season 7 kicks off with Asylum for the Daleks
• September 27th, "The Casual Vacancy", by J.K. Rowling
• October 9, "Red Rain", by R.L. Stine
• Mid October, "Redemption", Chosen #4, Denise Grover Swank
• October 23rd, "The Evolution of Mara Dyer", by Michelle Hodkin
• November 8, "Fairy Tales From the Brother's Grimm; A New English Version", by Phillip Pullman

Pullman hit the list mainly because of the powerhouse His Dark Materials. While I can't say I was absolutely in love with how the Pullman series ultimately ended (a little too heavy on the religious pushing for me), I'm insanely interested in seeing what he can do with a few classic fairy tales. 

Lesser known authors, that in my humble opinion you should be reading if you aren't already, also have entries coming. I'm truly looking forward to the captivating and creative continuations that Denise Grover Swank and Michelle Hodkin are sure to put out with their next efforts.

Then there's the could be great, could be horrible, but nostalgia inducing adult fiction entry from one of my favorite authors from way back when I was still in elementary school: R.L. Stine.* I'm still not sure how that one is going to pan out seeing as I've never read any of his adult novels but even still, I'm eagerly anticipating this title so that I can find out what he can do outside of the child-oriented Goosebumps series. J.K.'s book is on there for much the same reason.

Lastly, you'll have probably noticed that I've been a little sneaky and popped the upcoming season premier of Doctor Who into the top slot of what should be a list of book recommendations. Truth be told, I'm just trying to turn the entire world into Whovians. (And I'm chomping at the bit  for an official schedule announcement - come on BBC! Give us a date already!!)

*I know, you were probably thinking I'd say J.K. Rowling but while I did read through all her Harry Potter entries and I am certainly looking forward to what she can do outside of the young adult arena, I'm sad to say I experienced them mostly during my college years and am much less concerned about her ability to appeal to a slightly more.. um... 'adult' population.